Sailor Moon vs Sailor Moon Dub vs Sub
by SaintSeiya06268
Summary: Wow. I wrote this fast. Bad Grammer again and totally stupid stuff that you just gotta laugh at


The Sailor Moon Crisis  
  
Narrator: One bright day at Tokyo Studio's Yaten Kou stood in front of a blank movie screen in awe.  
  
Yaten: Turn the Fricken thing on  
  
Producer: *fumbles with the remote. "Err its coming on"  
  
Narrator: Flashing black and white numbers count down on the screen. Then a picture comes on and some horrible English lyrics vibrate on the Speakers.  
  
Yaten: AH turn it off TURN IT OFF*he runs to the screen, trips and his diet soda spills all over the screen.  
  
Yaten: AHHHHHHHHH I SPENT $5.00 ON THAT!!!  
  
Producer: Hey look at the screen.  
  
Narrator: The screen suddenly has white spreading all over the picture and it glows violently. Screams can be heard faintly as they start to get louder and louder and louder till finally there was a boom and 13 people shoot out of the screen.  
  
Voice1: Oww where are we  
  
Voice2: Shut up ditz it was your fault  
  
Voice3: CALM DOWN!  
  
Yaten: They sorta sound familiar  
  
Voice 1: Well I am the PRETTY SOLDIER SAILOR MOON!  
  
Yaten: AHHHHHHHHHHH USAGI WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THE FILM  
  
Voice 1: Usagi? I am Serena Tsukino.  
  
Yaten: AHHHHHHH its an AMERICAN!  
  
Narrator: Suddenly 12 other people stomp into the studio.  
  
Taiki: Sorry we're late  
  
Seiya: Band Practice.  
  
Random Voice: Hey you sound familiar so let me intrduce myself I'm Kyra Lights part of the 3 Lights band!  
  
Seiya: WHAT!?  
  
Taiki: ::snickers and laughs at the uncanny resemblance of Kyra and Seiya::  
  
Seiya: SHADDUP UTERUS BOY  
  
Taiki: "EAT ME. Err wait don't"  
  
Yaten: "You're a freakin moron!"  
  
Kyra: "Um right as I was saying I am Kyra Lights and these are my totally girl sisters Jessica and Sarah Lights:  
  
Taiki: "Its Scary!!"  
  
Yaten: "Their CLONES. EVIL CLONES. ::sprays them with some makeup tube he conviently kept around::  
  
The 3 Lights: "Ahh Nooo Stop it eeeeeh"  
  
Serena: "As I am saying. I am the Sailor Moon and in the name of the moon I'll punish you!"  
  
Yaten: "CALL THE INNER SENSHI CALL THE OUTER SENSHI. GET MAMORU JUST SOME ONE KILL THESE GODDAMN ANTICHRIST!!!"  
  
Serena: "senSAI? Isn't that teacher?"  
  
Yaten: "AHHHHH"  
  
"Usagi,The Inners,The Outers, and the over gorgeous naïve but sexy Mamoru Chiba arrive."  
  
Usagi: "What's going on?"  
  
Yaten: ::POINTS:: "It's the Devil in clothes it's the devil in clothes!!!"  
  
Serena: "Oh No it's a monster attack!!!"  
  
Usagi: "That stupid wannabee bitch has the nerve to call me a monster!?! Ill show her!"  
  
Usagi: "Moon Cosmic Power Make up!"  
  
Serena: "Oh Yea! Moon Cosmic POWEEEEEEEEER"  
  
::The extremely long boring and motonous transformation scenes occur and two dumb blonde ninny's are face to face with plastic like heart rods ready to "destroy" one another.::  
  
Usagi and Serena: "Moon Spiral HEAAAAAAAAAART ATTACK!" ::Flips twitches and all the moves occur::  
  
::Usagi's rod blasts the heart out but Serena's does nothing::  
  
Serena: "Oh No did I forget the batteries" This dumb twit is standing there shaking a rod while an extremely huge pink heart is flying at her head.  
  
::The huge heart bonks into Serena and Serena twists and falls into positions no normal man has ever scene.::  
  
Michiru: "I thought Only I could bend that way"  
  
Haruka: "Me too Honey."  
  
Michelle: "oh look AMARA cousin dear friend. They took our image."  
  
Amara: "I'll teach them"  
  
Haruka: "Listen to me you cheap looking ugly tomboy. Ill knock your ass in so hard you'll shit out of your hears."  
  
Amara: "Yeb'm"  
  
::The American and Japanese characters part their way's from each other before they are at each other's throats::  
  
Meanwhile Amara and Michelle plan to have a concert at Juuban high school.  
  
Haruka: "Man this is ingenious"  
  
Michiru: "I know. That sea green haired bitch is gonna pay for acting like a total snob" ::Haruka pops Amara's tires which totally resemble's her car and Michiru snaps Michelle's violin strings and defaces her case::  
  
Haruka: "I hear noise! Run!"::The two scamper away as the COUSINS approach the overly bright yellow car.  
  
Amara: "Let's do this.."  
  
::Amara starts her car but notices along the way that 20 blue haired Atlantic City baking Grandma's had passed her. She looks over and sees that as she drives her tires go BA BUMP because they are flat.::  
  
Amara: "Ahhh my beautiful tires. I slept with so many girls to get those!!! Ahhhhh!"  
  
::As the two arrive at their concert late Michelle has no time to tune her violin. She immediately rushes on stage and grabs the Violin and bow but does not notice the hanging threads on it. She tries to play but the clicking of wood sounds it.::  
  
Michelle: "Oh No that's not how I left my violin"  
  
Amara: "Ahhhh it's the new enemy"  
  
Michelle: "I sense something deep in the ocean."  
  
Amara: "Not now Bimbo"  
  
::Michelle throws a death glare Amara's way before gracefully stomping off stage and throwing her violin at the old man in the orchestra.::  
  
Meanwhile Setsuna and Trista stare at each other with blank but firm stares and inspect each other's bodies just to see if one is fake or not.  
  
Setsuna: I've witnessed the end of the world, the birth of a new evil and my own death and I have NEVER seen this.  
  
Trista: "What you said"  
  
Setsuna: "YOU ARE THE ANTICHRIST!" ::blast::  
  
Trista: "Aiyeeeee." ::Setsuna blasts Trista into oblivion::  
  
Setsuna: "Oopsie"  
  
::Meanwhile the 3 lights and the 3 lights challenge each other to a battle of the mic:: Kyra: "First we perform and then you guys can mop the stage up afterwards"  
  
Seiya: "Listen to me you flat chested uneven ugly son of a bitch. I'm gonna whoop your ass so hard your other sex will feel it."  
  
Kyra: "I'm one gender you moron"  
  
Yaten: "EGAD'S THEY'VE TOTALLY DESTROYED THE PLOT OF SAILOR STARS."  
  
Taiki and the 3 light girls: "Riiiiiiiight"  
  
::The 3 girl lights go on stage::  
  
Kyra: "BAAAYBE LOOK AT ME"  
  
Jessica: "And tell me what you see"  
  
Sarah: "I can touch the moon with my hand"  
  
All 3: "Just to show you who I am ::singing goes on::"  
  
::The 3 light guys come out::  
  
Seiya: "I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE"  
  
Taiki: "You other brothers can't deny!"  
  
Yaten: "When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face"  
  
All 3: "YOU GET SPRUNG ::singing continues::"  
  
Crowd: ::Chooses 3 Light Girls::  
  
Seiya: "Why?"  
  
Crowd: "Your song was a sexist remark"  
  
Seiya: "OH GO FUCK YOURSELF"  
  
Crowd::shocked::  
  
3 light guys: "Cmon lets get em"  
  
::The extremely sad and long transformation sequence occurs and something that would totally shock Oprah results::  
  
Kyra: "Their girls?"  
  
Jessica: "And Pretty!"  
  
Sarah: "Oh no!!"  
  
::All 6 battle out in a Royal Rumble which is somehow suddenly broadcasted and edit to look like a mud bath match. Seiya suddenly gropes Kyra's ass and releases his true power::  
  
Seiya: "ORGASM EXPLODING SURPRISE"  
  
::The 6 transvestite odd women and scary men dissapear in a "White Flash"  
  
Rei: "I don't trust you."  
  
Raye: "Neither do I"  
  
::60 million Chinese fortune cookie papers pop on each other's forheads::  
  
Rei and Raye: "These things really are fucking sticky!"  
  
Raye: "And they stick to places only God knows what happens to"  
  
Rei: "YOU ARE THE DEVIL!" ::Throws a lighter on the paper covered Raye::  
  
Raye: "Ahhhhhh" ::burns up into smoke and dies::  
  
::Amy and Ami chan seem to be the only peaceful ones as they compare each other's notes::  
  
Amy: "Lets get away from this violence"  
  
Ami: "Yes"  
  
::the 2 blue haired freaks of nature step out of Mamoru's condo and are immediately hit by 2 speeding buses drived by none other than Umaro chan and Melvin.  
  
2 Dorks with spiral eyed glasses: "IF I CANT HAVE THEM NO ONE CAN!!"  
  
::Minako and Makoto are found nailed to the walls of Mina's bedroom dead::  
  
Lita and Mina: "Hah we are the only survivors so we must go finish that phoney sailor moon:: Minako: "Oh no you don't" ::Minako kicks off her last year faded out prodda shoe at her stereo. "PINK SUGAR POP MUSIC ATTACK" ::Red button turns on and the immediate sound of a megamix by N Sync 98 degrees Backstreet Boys O Town and Dream Street comes on."  
  
Lita and Mina: "NOO ITS HOMOSEXUAL DOUCHE BAG'S IN JEANS ON THE RADIO. WE'RE MELTING WE'RE MELTTTTING." ::mina And lita turn into 2 globs containing 95% silicone 2% plastic 2% makeup and 1% of human dignity."  
  
Usagi,Mamoru and Darien in the middle of the park with Darien dressed in Drag.  
  
Darien with pink hair: "So let me get this straight. You Sagg E-Chan and Mammory Gland err Chan are actually the real me and Serena?  
  
Mamoru: "its Mamoru"  
  
Darien: "Sure Mammory"  
  
Mamoru: "I said Mamoru"  
  
Darien: "Honest mistake Mammory"  
  
::Mamoru has not realized that Darien is an American and how thick headed he really is::  
  
Mamoru: "Ill show you Mammory!" ::pop::  
  
::Darien in drag was somehow impaled with an iron rod and hung on the Japanese TV Tower in less then the time it takes to apply lipstick to his oh so drag self.::  
  
Usagi: "Has anyone scene Hotaru and Hotaru?"  
  
::Hotaru's in unison:: "That's IT! YOU'VE EQUALLY MATCHED ME IN TEDDY BEARS,LAMPS,FREAKY BODILY FUNCTIONS AND HOW MANY LOVERS MY FATHER HAD. THAT'S IT I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF POWER::  
  
Usagi: "No Hotaru err U's! Noo!"  
  
Hotaru's::Saturn GLAIVE SURPRISE::  
  
Mamoru: "Good BYE"  
  
::kaboom::  
  
The End. 


End file.
